I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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