If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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