OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
