Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
