NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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