loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
