I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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