We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I need moral support for this bender
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
