a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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