okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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