he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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