in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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