I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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