the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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