Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
