You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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