If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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