dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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