Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am naked and annoyed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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