he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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