come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
