Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
