i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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