Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I forget how to act sober
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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