I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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