his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
BRING THE BAGELS
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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