I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
