is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize