there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
