Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
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At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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