The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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