Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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