I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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