you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
