it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
