just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
