My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I pour the whiskey from now on
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize