Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
