My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
