please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
