Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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