we're blogging at a bar
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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