I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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