During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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