who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
