good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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