threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
