Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Still dying that you shit outside
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
