So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
