I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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