I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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