he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude i'm inner monologue high
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
