It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
