and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
