I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
