Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
