Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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