Cold hands, warm shart.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
