I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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