let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
