I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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