fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
