This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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