just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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