I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
