he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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