i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just google imaged poop.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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