She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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